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Meet each other’s friends and try to pay attention to them, they will tell you a lot about your new love. I mean, really, would you loan your car to someone to drive out of state with that you had only known 6 or 8 weeks?Meet each other ‘s family’s if that’s on the agenda for you and don’t sweat about it. Your heart and your life are far more precious than a car. This is why many generations have advised not being sexual too quickly or spending too much time together in the early days.First, be aware that the feelings you are having in the first three months are mostly hormone induced chemical reactions that are urging you to have sex and reproduce.You’re more sophisticated than that, so just be aware that your own chemical responses are leading you astray and don’t mistake these feelings for real love or a soul mate connection.
Fifth, about 82 days in, you will begin to notice a slow down in your need to see this person at every opportunity.
Go for another 90 days and see where you’re at then, because now you’re really in authentic getting-to-know-you time. Forgetfulness happens, drinking habits and other personal quirks emerge, possessiveness and jealously rear their ugly heads. Maybe you have found your special lover and it will last a lifetime. Be aware that what you’re feeling in the beginning is instinctive, hormone imbalance meant to promote primitive reproduction.
And as we know, we usually fall in love several times before that happens, so it makes sense to have a plan of action that you can keep yourself safe with when you start falling again. Don’t jump in and start saying “I love you” when in fact it’s really “I just want you!
It takes time to know someone and many different shared experiences, so just hang on and enjoy this fun time of getting to know each other and try to stay aware that that is what’s going on. In these first 90 days, the biggest thing going on is the clouded attempt to make you like each other. Enjoy all the flowers and lovely dates and long talks.
Spend time together doing as many different things as you can think of. Think of different endearing ways to admire and appreciate each other but don’t say I love you, don’t move in together and don’t make any long term commitments.
These weekends spent out of town prevented us from being able to see each other most weekends.